Day Two: Thursday 9/7
Today I came head to head with myself, and I did not run away.
I have been to war before but each deployment feels like a whole new journey.
Today I realized that the battle I thought I was fighting wasn't it at all actually.
Until this day I penned my fight as " Alanna-the-thrill-seeking-planner/organizer-with-energy-to-burn" VS. Alanna-the-deliberate-pensive-observer-of-time-and-sensation.
Consider those two girls companions on the same road, different approaches. My struggle has been deeper than that.
By always having to hold on/be strong/persist/devise/suck it up, etc... I have been left feeling quite empty, frustrated and anxious. I have experienced a stifling of my personality and my joy.
During this Catharis residency with Art On Purpose, I endeavor to put the harshly critical Alanna on the shelf and to look within for a greater sense of self-love.