Day 15: Wednesday September 20
Today was another productive day in the studio. I have a version of a sound score for Saturday's showing that I am very excited about! My creative process so far has been yielding fruit little by little.
It was also a great day for personal growth. In my morning prayer session the Lord spoke some affirming words to me about courage. The words I heard I treasure and will keep close to my heart.
Rehearsal with Anna went well and was followed by my second rehearsal with Jamie on the solo, Assimilation Of My Tongue. The process was filled with wonder and frustration on my part as old habits of mind started to rise up. I started to become overwhelmed by the swell of heavy emotions that were storming through me. (Why can't these moments happen when I am alone?) The dance begins with a text I speak about Patience, Toughness, Resilience and Pain. That all of these things have a place and value. The pain of this past year rushed up to the surface of my heart like a tidal wave; and I could not get passed the fear that I was behind--that the future would be no different than my past. Sage, that she is, Jamie told me, "We will see each other again," and I started to cry. She supported, affirmed and counseled.
It is this COURAGE that the Lord spoke to me about in the morning, that He was preparing me for tonight. Tisk, tisk. Practicing self-acceptance, self-love, and faith is my new normal.
I believe that I will see Jamie again.
I believe that this experience and its fruit has been and will be perfect.
I believe that my future, with all its ups and downs, will allways be bright.